Let's write something.

Since I don't know what I'm thinking about now, so just let's write down here.

I like talkiing with people. I like communication with others. But when I cannot say what I'm thinking and just put it in my mind, I lose the confidnce. It's so simple.

Second, I think I am kind of intimidated now. Maybe I could not say at the meeting earlier.


but everthing is gonna be okay. okay.




Today was one of beautiful days in the fall! So good weather that I even gave up studying and went outside with a book.

I didn't want to miss this good weather. There were several people where I usually have mediation. haha. (That is my secret place on campus, but as long s there are some people, I cannot say that is my own place)

The good thing is I don't have any test this week and can prepare for busy days to come next several weeks.

Actually I'm not sure how much I'm gonna be busy since I just know that I'm gonna have two presentations.


Now, I'm putting myself together.


I'm seeking the answer for a long time. Sometimes I deny my old anwser and renew it to the new one, but I delete it later.

What's happening is I kind of intergrade all my thinking. And test the answer if that is true.


Other people are mirror to me.

When I think, "She is kinda...rude," I might have some rudeness to people.


"I don't like them" Then, I don't like myself.

The vice versa,

"She is so nice!!" Then I might have a possibility of possesing her attraction.

"Listen to me!" Then I probably do not listen to others. Or I don't listen to myself.

So I reflect other people.



I think I don't have to deny my thought. I just believe myself. my answers. That's why I'm kind of intimidated now.


I like those of my words

"Do not forget the blessings given to me. Do not forget to give out those blessings"



I don't wanna depend on people. That's what I used to think until last year.

And I realized the importance of other people.

Dependent.

Independent.

I'm swaying between two ideas.

My ideal is so called "interdependent."


Maybe I've written too long today.

Let's stop here.


Just believe everything is gonna be okay!!
:)